my parents are dead and i miss them

He was diagnosed a week before I graduated from college. I’m sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing though, makes me feel less alone with my mourning. I’m 21 and I lost my dad about 5 months ago. I want to leave every thing in here reminds me what ive been thorough. Lost my father.. It’s been 6 yrs now. I told him that he was surrounded by love and that we all love him. I was with him when he passed. The older lady looked just like my momma. I can’t eat , sleep or do anything but just cry every minute. My parents are both alive and dead at the same time. You will be triggered without notice, at the most inconvenient times. First, I resumed the practice of going to the gym, a hobby I’d foregone throughout the course of Dan’s illness. I really do appreciate you writing this and keeping it real. But I’m going to stay strong. And that doesn’t mean the grief has disappeared: it just means you’ve learned to balance both. I just haven’t ever been able to experience the same kind of happiness since she left. He spent his whole life trying to make ours easier and make us happy. My feelings for him are changing. It’s by far the most memorable event of my life. Thank you all for reminding me that I am not alone in this. I have no family here now & it’s isolating , lonely & scary . Required fields are marked *. I want to be able to smile again. I miss him so much! I identify with this article in so many ways. Very broad minded and a progressive person. Hello and thank you. I do not know how many more that I have live with this fact. I just lost my dad last night (I am 39, he was 68) and it helps to know I am not alone. I didn’t post about it on social media. I spent most of my 30 years alive hating him for how he treated the family. Big Hugs. I am an only child. I got married October of 2001, and had a 3rd child with my husband. I’m 30 years old now my dad passed away 8 years ago of kidney cancer 2 weeks before I turned 22.I feel like I changed since he died. I lost my mom when I was 29 and now my dad passed away three years later- just 6 weeks ago. It’s been so helpful reading this article, and sharing so many stories and memories. What you said about not being the perfect daughter definitely fits me. I cry whenever I think about it. My worst nightmare came true that day and in honesty I struggle to find the words to describe the pain. Thank you very much for this article, it reminds me that life can still go on. I’d forced myself to visualize the inevitable decline in health, the physical act of dying, the utter heartbreak and loneliness I would feel once he was actually gone. I feel lucky enough to have had my mom for the time I did. Thanks . He was 72-73. This is the cruelest thing one could ever experience. His death was sudden and I was not prepared to write an obituary and plan a funeral at at age 46. I had to argue with the IRS over student loan bills. So very sorry for your loss. It feels unreal. She always has a big smile on her face.” But on the inside I’m not ok. Just last week my family were going to get our passports done and the lady there said “the children’s father will need to be there too” and my mom said “ he’s deceased.” That really hurt to be reminded about that. It doesn’t feel like my life anymore. Everything said was absolutely on point. It’s the worst thing about the whole process: knowing you’ll never see those folks again, or spend time chatting to them, or arguing or having fun :). They played Jealous of the angels and I lost it. I pray that God will envelope you and your family as you weather the storm of your father’s demise together. It is still painful when I think about her. I will continue to go after my dreams, and share my successes or failures with him, as if he’s still here. We want to hear from you. I’m so proud to say I’m Fred Jones’ Son!!! We talked about everything, the Universe, our family, health…. He’s the reason I try my hardest to keep strong, even though I am still grieving for my Dad. Two months later and my life still feels like a dream and so has the past two months. God bless everyone going thru these things stay strong. My wife and I got divorced I lost the house and everything I had built. I never realized anyone could grieve this way. I cried at his funeral. I’ve had a couple dreams where I’ve talked to him and It was like a regular day when i was a child and i grew up and showed him the tattoo i got in memory of him and I’ve told him how much I love and miss him and he said he had to go and i woke up and i immediately started bawling my eyes out and felt an overwhelming feeling of grief. They have the loss of never having a loving parent. I lost my lovely Dad two months ago and miss him so much. We take a lot of strength from our parents, so when you lose one of them, it’s crushing. I used to dream of my wedding day or having kids, I dont get excited for such things anymore. For better or worse, I am grateful to have many years of memories. Hopefully life will teach me well. We were always to get together. X. I lost my dad over a month ago. I had been awake for 38 hours. I’m 48 and my Dad was 80 when he passed. I still can’t believe it. I lost my father 17 days ago from a brain injury. we were evicted. He is the greatest man I have ever known. Thank you all for sharing, and God’s blessings to you as we walk this road together. But it wasn’t enough, so he did reincarnation of my daughter. Know too that even though things are tough at the moment, it will get better. You can get in touch by sharing your story on Beyond’s forum. I lost my dad to cancer two months ago I feel so lost right now it’s like u said most of your friends don’t get what u feel except the one that’s lost a parent to loseing a parent different some that u loved and cared about losing a parent puts u in another world almost and until it happens to u . Everyday past week, I speak to him, telling him to go to his new happy world, with no worries of us for I will take care of everything, his unfinished business for him and the family. You will think you are doing better, and you will be ambushed again. We were like yeinsb, indentical . But I’m a 100% positive that both our dads loved and admired us with all their hearts! Hope the best for you and everyone here who has lost a loved one. Because despite my initial feeling that, once they were both dead, I was no longer anyone's daughter, I now realise that isn't true. He looks down on you and thinks, what the fuck did i do to make you?? I sat for just a second then all of a sudden out of nowhere I realized that all of the sounds of my childhood is gone. We must keep going for them xxx. The simple answer is, of course, that there isn’t one. I just want to confirm that every single thing in this article has been 100% true for me personally. I tried to make him proud of me. 1) You can’t help but envy your friends when they go see their grandparents The loss of your jar opener. I just can not see anything getting much better. My father passed away 2 days before and i m only 15 year 11 months old and everything seems miserable to me and every responsibility of my father came to me and i have to be successful in my life to make my family happy Im 45 and its been a year and half since my father passed away. I was no stranger to death when my mom died, I had already lost all 4 grandparents, 2 close uncles & an aunt on my dads side (we weren’t close). I always thought I’m doing fine but talking to my friends made me realize that I’m not fine and I need to talk about by feelings. Much love! i miss them so much. But really, it does. <3 Big hugs to everyone out there. This is also my first death I have dealt with. Lost my dad June 2018, I was his caregiver for the last five years while he battled a slow but tenacious type of cancer and I didn’t realize that my identity had become so defined by the desperate fight to cure him. I walk around crying, or walk around hollow. At that time I just told myself he was going to be okay everything would end up all fine and he would come home. My youngest daughter was born on the anniversary of my Dad’s death. But he passes away after a week at home whole sleeping.We called him but he did not respond and I saw him taking breath from mouth and passed away. I wasn't legally allowed to rent a car, but I was already an orphan, planning funerals, owning property, and doing things even my own parents never had to endure. Today I am missing them very much. My father died a month back.. I think my grieving began that day. I don’t really have someone in daily life to talk to who can understand my emotions, so this makes me feel less lonely. We had our moments but his family adored him. There was a tornado warning the night dad passed. I’m physically ill. I’m scared. The last time I saw him in person was late Nov 2019 – I live and work in a different country. Everything makes me think about dad and grandmother. Something that, when it did inevitably happen, would happen much later in life. Cant stop crying and at this time I dont want to go on living. I’m sorry for the loss of your father. I had to step away and take breaths it was so intune and exacting to how I feel and probably always will about my dear mum forever. THANK YOU. No one here knew her, so they don’t know what she was like, or what it is like for me. I just lost my Dad two hours ago. Despite the grief, I would say that the past eight years have been good for many reasons but especially because of the arrival of our children. And who knows? I lost my dad when I was 15, I am 30 years old now and I just can’t seem to function properly. I moved back home to be with my dad and nephew. I just lost my father about a few months ago, and i’m only 15 this year. She had been in poor health (and attitude) for years. The last conversation I had with my dad was giving him the great news that his baby girl was pregnant. You’re right you do mask the pain through the first period but then it comes and hits you head on. Reaching out to others has proved a life line. I have that same feeling. We're allowed a week's grace at the most, then after that we're expected to have dealt with it. Hello to you Sarah and all who are on this blog. I would trade years away of my life to have another day with him. I just want my parents back. I didn’t make it in time in the hospital either and couldn’t do anything but just say “Pa” when I saw him there. The question, then, becomes: how soon after loss is it appropriate to begin dating? I got some kind of feelings, pains, tension and so angry in a way that is so mysteriously, Thanks for this I recently lost my dad and I’m only 12 years old but I’m still suffering a bit. There's an awkwardness, almost embarrassment, attached to being an adult orphan – not for me, for others. “After I… you know.” He didn’t elaborate further. I recently lost both my parents within 8 month and both unexpectedly and I truly feel as bad today as the day they passed. The first 2 months were like a slow motion experience. The thing that gets to me is the fact that his dad lived to 100 and he always said how he will live to be really old too and I never worried about him passing at such a young age. My dad is more than a father for me. If there is anyone from the UK, and would just like to generally chat, I would really appreciate the company. Hate watching him suffer. (I generally believe that our parents and grandparents grew up with much less affection that we did.) A beautiful post. But I will never see him again. I don’t know why people so young have their parents taken from them. Then to try to keep my Mom monitored through all of this. If discussing death is still taboo in 21st-century Britain, multiply that by 10 and you get an idea of how people react when you say you've lost both parents. They were my link to my heritage and now they've gone, it feels as if that's fading too. I lost my father 9 months ago and its the hardest pill to swallow especially since he died in my arms…stay strong, I lost my mommy yesterday…. The things I would say….I see him in my dreams. I have felt supported at times by friends, and then so alone at other times. It’s hard to remember how other people don’t understand..my partner was annoyed that I was crying about my dad, saying how it’s been a year and I have to get it together. Can’t sleep or eat. I lost my girlfriend and unborn child when I was 28 and never found anyone after that so I have no wife or children. because i got into an argument with my father 3 years ago.I haven’t seen him or contacted with him since. My mum, Elpida, and my dad, Yiannis, came to Britain from Cyprus, separately, and met in London in the 1950s. I completely understand what you must have gone through. It is still hard. But first, I think I’ll listen to his voicemails for another hour. I wish the best best to everyone reading this. Don’t be afraid or to proud to reach out to people when you need help and try not to be too disappointed when they don’t get it. You truly never get over it, even if you weren’t very old when the death occurred. To that end, the “right” amount of time, I think, to wait before seeking out new love is however long it takes to begin feeling ready to stop surviving and start living again. That was my favourite part of the day, was calling him and hearing his voice on the phone. Although I am 45 and I haven’t lived at home since I was 18 then briefly at 22 after my divorce. Christmas is looming large. First let me say how very sorry I am for your loss. The hospital, who was known in the Cincinnati area to be awful, released him and stated he had low potassium. I guess my question is, is this normal or should i expect to suddenly break down at the checkouts in Tesco one day, when i scan the wrong product? My husband just made things harder constantly reminding me of just how much I was failing at my life in his opinion. Holidays are so hard to get through, I feel like I should not be celebrating or be happy because he is not here. I don’t mind it at all. The loss of your road trip companion. And understand I’m not alone. Sending love your way. I want to use this opportunity to share my story. I just should have done more to help him. Several times his blood pressure dropped to zero and we thought he had passed and suddenly it would start again. Stupid, I know. It was a place I was known, where I'd worked shifts now and then, and where they knew what had happened as I'd worked there during my mum's illness. My mum in Scotland. I appreciate reading this advice and i feel i can relate to. My children are happy and healthy. And to those who are willing to share their stories of their dearly departed fathers. Briggitte Making me feel so guilty. its really hard tbh… if wish i just could see her face and hear her voice on more time. I went to a Father’s day memorial service helped as I missed dad funeral. Im such a mess i feel like. Anthony you have a very strong spirit. My Dad passed away March 2019 so almost 20 months ago. LOVE YOU DAD! I have tried so hard to be strong for my Mother and my brother and sister but I am not doing well at all. I will miss him dearly. It’s like it just hit me all over again. He calls just to tell me he loves us. He used to entertain me everyday. It will be 2 years this Friday since I lost my Dad. There is no refuge for me. Thanks, I really needed that. He passed away from cancer and it happen so fast, I thought we had more time. I am sure this will help you. They cry about their lost parent to me expecting sympathy, but never show support when I’m hurting, too. She does not know yet about this coincidence. Treasure The Wonderful and Amazing Times that you had with Your Father,and remember to live on,and Follow Your Life Dreams. I am so happy I found this article, puts peace in my heart because I DO feel lost and wonder when the heck this pain will go away becaus3 I know she is in a better place but I just miss her. It doesn’t take away from what you are experiencing at all. But, sometimes she can be a lil’ bit too hard for me. He was in a lot of pain the last few weeks of his life from his cancer, I know he’s in a better place now and no longer suffering, I try and remember that along with the fact he told me not to cry, not to do bad things and live a good work life balance unlike he did. In fact, they didn't mention it the whole week. Iv not had any time at all to grieve. I find I am now getting on with what is important. Thanks for this blog and everyone’s comments. It all happened so fast, we couldn’t say goodbye and hospital visits were not allowed. I am the last one left. If you’re reading this, I am also 25 and lost my dad a month ago. All the opportunities to spend more quality with him will no longer be part of reality. Only my mom was there the night he passed. I just want him back. It has been a whirlwind, a bad dream and when you wake up reality smack you back to hell. He was set to come home on his birthday, but he passed away the day before. I have so many amazing friends who have tried to reach out, but I can't bring myself to talk to them, because I feel like they wouldn't be able to understand and I can't bear anymore sympathy. Big hugs to you. I spend nights out in clubs because it’s the only place they did not go. I may have looked the same but something inside me shifted. He had already been gone for 45 minutes upon our arrival and never got to say goodbye. Nothing has filled the void. Im seventeen. I am so sorry for all of your losses. My father passed away on 1-5-17 when I was 19. I know the intense feeling of losing our moms . And the young will ask the two questions most of us want answers to: how old were they? Even on a normal school night like this, I’m trying to do my homework but a wave of sadness just hit me out of nowhere and I started crying. But after it happened I went into a deep depression and wanted to die too! I’m embarassed and would be horrified if he could see me right now. We did so much together there. You speak facts…time is of the essence and time is a mystery I miss my dad daily! But I’m an adult. I never talked about it with my close friends or family. I know she was 92 but the pain is very much here and hurts so much. I watched him take his last breath. But i know it’s impossible. Today is my birthday and I’m surprised by how much I miss my parents. It still seems unreal…I keep expecting to see him in his chair when I visit.The emotional toll is enormous as is the physical…I miss him terribly and feel so sad…even though I know he was ready to transition. I never really understood what was happening at that time but now it hurts so much. People forget you are grieving. They're my parents. I’m an only child and have been staying with my mom the past few days. While this article doesn’t particularly address that, I’ve found helpful advice written in its whole. I am know 13 and to day is the day he died. And that doesn’t mean the grief has disappeared: it just means you’ve learned to balance both. He was perfectly healthy with no underline condition s not even blood pressure issue yet he contracted the virus and in the space of two weeks he was gone!! I’ve really tried not to question God’s will but still find myself asking Him “Why my father?” I am back at work this week but will constantly worry about my mother who is beyond any reason right now. that i love her. He was in home hospice care for the last year and in true Marine fashion fought like a champ almost to the bitter end. My dad passed away 10 months ago. I lost both my parents 2.5 weeks apart it’s so difficult at times trying to be strong,it’s only been just over 4 months ago and I feel It’s hitting me know I am angry at cancer but no one or anything else. I lost my father and trying hard to keep myself controlled. Dana Frost is a writer and the founder of the Forced Joy Project (http://www.forcedjoyproject.com). It felt like my world had stopped and everything around me continued as usual. The pain and sorrow sheds a dark cloud over me. It has been the worst year of my life and I’m miserable. I feel so guilty I had not seen my father in 7 years and not because we fought but because we were in 2 different countries and a lot of factors in and out. like I never left his side, he put up the best fight to stage 4 pancreas cancer and his fight is over. No doubt He called upon you to bless our lives. So how can I be there for them and still grieve our loss?!?!? He couldn’t do anything anyway, he wasn’t a doctor. The hardest 10 years of my life. And she ended in the hospital and she took a pill off of the streets of Las Vegas and passsed away in cardiac arrest on july 8th, 2019 8 pm. I’m trying to process it and I’m not sure how to. Second — and for this, I’ll forever be grateful — a few friends brought up the subject of me dating again, and in doing so, made my desire to date feel acceptable. I have my son and my husband! I also feel like I have not grieved yet as after his death and until now, we have to attend to our mother who has Stage 2 Angina. But slowly I’ve learned to live with my father’s spirit inside me, and if I’m completely honest, I usually know what he would say or want me to do even though he’s not here to say it. Sometimes I speak to my dad and tell him just how much I love him and miss him and just hope that he can hear me .! He was the most generous and kind men I knew. But despite all the conflicts I think that, overall, we eventually had a good relationship. It hurts like hell even now 4 years after a devastating loss, my anchor is not there and I wonder what I am living for ? Thank you for writing this… I feel a tiny bit less crazy now. Nothing has helped me, no one understands and I just feel lost, sad, alone most of the time but reading this shows I’m not the only one. It’s been one phone call and the most important person the constant I’ve known my whole life is gone. Eight years on, and it still affects me. I am just shocked. Heading into Christmas I just didn’t want to deal with any of it or anyone. I told her how much I loved her, I’ll miss her. The loss of income. An emotion that often rears its head is envy. I feel suffocated at the loss many days. We even share the same birthday. I miss his smile. I lost mom 2 months ago. I don’t quite feel numb, but I think my brain has quickly learned to shut down the feeling of sadness quickly. I’m not sure if my grief has really hit me yet or has it will my little cries be the only thing for me or will I explode one day?To what I read losing a parent is hard one day at a time is all I can say. “I think other people have been wondering this too, but have been afraid to bring up the subject — have you thought about when you’ll start dating again?”. I hope tomorrow is one of many good days for you. We we’re so close I don’t know how I’m going to get through. Thank you for sharing. the tears came down my face driving in the dessert nothing but endless highway. You know? Thank you for posting this, thank you allowing me to share. We are blessed that he has not been in any pain. I guess it’s on my mind again because I’m nearing my second graduation from nursing school. First of all, I am sorry for everyone’s loss, my heart goes out to you. He wasn’t exactly healthy but he was only 76 and I thought healthy enough for his age. The anticipation of what was to come was so sore inside of me. hope it works out for you. I try to remember how i felt earlier the night. My big brother & roomate passed of alcohol poisoning weeks later , only weeks ! I really don’t know how to go back to my normal life. I had planned to have my bestfriend over for a movie night… I never expected that I would lose her…. I miss him everyday. You articulate the journey so well. As far as my beliefs. They'd both been very poor in Cyprus, but here they had a chance to make a living. Nothing. Your dad misses you equally. he wasn’t sick and he was supposed to be at mine a day after his died… i kept calling him trying to find out where he was, not realizing he was dead and no one knew ( he lived alone)… he was 65… we had plans to do somethings together when he came around. My dad is still in deep depression and i dont know how to help him. 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